“Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
George Shultz is not a man I ever expected to write about with any admiration. Or at all, for that matter.
Having served in both the Nixon and Reagan administrations—as Secretary of Labor, Treasury, and State—it’s safe to say that our political leanings are in opposite directions. Yet, I believe he is a man of honor, and a voice to be listened to as we seek to find light after this year of so much darkness. On more than one occasion in the last couple of years, Shultz has lamented the climate of distrust at home and abroad that the current administration has fostered, noting that it will take years to reverse.
On the occasion of his 100th birthday, which happens to be today, December 13, he wrote an op-ed for The Washington Post that is worth your attention. It’s a reminder of a time when we may not have agreed with politicians, but we could still believe that their motives were honorable and their commitment to public service genuine.
In “The 10 Most Important Things I’ve Learned About Trust Over My 100 Years,” Shultz recounts moments—some personal, some significantly political—when he saw that trust is the essential element that must be present if we humans are to accomplish great things together. As he put it, “When trust was in the room, whatever room that was—the family room, the schoolroom, the locker room, the office room, the government room or the military room—good things happened. When trust was not in the room, good things did not happen.”
Perhaps that is one explanation for the world we find ourselves in today. Trust is not in the room.
Years ago, I used to teach seminars on trust, and, like, Shultz, I saw it as the quality that must come first—in a friendship, a marriage, a business, and a community. Once trust is established, you can deal with just about anything. Trust serves as the solid foundation upon which futures are built.
In his book, The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey contends that the ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust is the number-one leadership competency. Where trust is low, you find hidden agendas, interpersonal conflict, win-lose thinking, and defensive communication—all of which impede progress.
Where trust is high, you find transparency, confidence, win-win thinking, effective communication … and progress. Doesn’t this explain a lot about our country today?
Covey further explains that for trust to be present, a leader must display both character—which he defines as integrity and good intent, and competence—which comprises both capabilities and results. Again, we can readily see how trust has been eroded.
How do we establish trust once it has been lost? That’s the question we are facing today. Fortunately, it’s not rocket science, but it will require effort. As individuals and as a nation, we must consistently model behaviors that generate trust:
- Speaking the truth
- Following through on our promises—both the big ones and the little ones
- Showing respect for others
- Admitting our mistakes and taking responsibility to fix them
- Holding ourselves accountable and expecting others to do the same
- Confronting reality—having the courage to tackle the tough issues head-on
- Listening to one another with the desire to understand
- Extending trust to others, while at the same time not being gullible
All of these take awareness and practice. But all are doable if we have the genuine desire to come together as a nation. There’s evidence that many Americans do not share that desire, but if enough of us do—and are willing to do the necessary work—perhaps a year from now we can look back with pride on the changes we made in 2021.
I’ll give George Shultz, on his 100th birthday, the last word:
“The best leaders trust their followers with the truth, and you know what happens as a result? Their followers trust them back. With that bond, they can do big, hard things together, changing the world for the better.”
A Year of Living Kindly 
Hi, Donna. In re behaviors that generate trust, Trump scores a zero on every count. That guy is demonic, and is intent on severely damaging American democracy. January 20 cannot arrive fast enough.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with you there, Neil. The damage he is inflicting on the way out is staggering. I wish he would just stay in Florida and play golf for the next 40 days. Also hope they’ll count the silver before he starts packing up. I expect him to loot whatever isn’t nailed down.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if these comments accurately define the kindness your book and website advocate. Do you truly believe that these comments go beyond demonization and show kindness and the attempt to understand? Prejudging George Shultz and then being surprised that he had some wisdom to share? Accusing President Trump of looting “whatever isn’t nailed down?” I had hoped that your website and book would be more than preaching, but also model good practice. Disappointingly, I see that they are not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Disappointed. Your comments are fair and give me something to think about and to work on. Yes, I have my own biases and perhaps I sometimes share them inappropriately. I will admit that over these last few years, in this blog, I have often weighed kindness against stating my political views (and sometimes against going for the cheap joke). Sometimes I have restrained myself. Other times, I have said what I was thinking. And often what I was thinking is that the kindest thing for our country would be having a President who puts the country’s needs above his own. I’m sorry I disappointed you. While I write about kindness and believe wholeheartedly in it, I am not always kind—maybe that’s why I continue to explore it. I am a work in progress.
Thank you for your comment and for making me think. I so appreciate that this blogging community is a place where we can honestly and civilly share our thoughts. I hope my next post will be less disappointing.
LikeLike
I can think of someone who should read this… except he doesn’t seem to read much beyond Tweets. There are a few people I thought I would never agree with who have changed my mind lately. Happy 100th, George!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve found it interesting, too, Janis, to see that there are people with whom I have vastly different political views, but whom I respect for retaining their integrity while all around others deemed it an unnecessary and disposable quality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very well written, Donna. I have long held that trust was the most important characteristic of all relationships – everything else is very difficult if there isn’t trust. I saw this commentary but didn’t read it – guess I’ll just have to go back and do it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I almost passed it by, too, Pat, but figured after 100 years, he might have some wisdom to share. And, son-of-a-gun, he did. Thanks for your kind words.
LikeLike
Trust. Yes, I remember trust…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe 2021 will be the year it comes back into style, Mick … we can hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d love to think so, yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope trust is restored, as it’s been missing for a long time. I believe part of the problem is how we demonize the “other side” and seem to think peace will only come if “their way of thinking” is obliterated. If we can own up to our mistakes, really listen to others, and include even those we disagree with in the decision making, then, yes, I do think we will see trust make a come back. Only time will tell, and all we can do is set a good example and hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we need to get beyond that demonization and start listening with the intention of understanding, not attacking. If we can get to where people feel safe, perhaps trust will bloom again. Thanks, Ann.
LikeLiked by 1 person