“Practice puts brains in your muscles.” (Sam Snead)
Daily, I am inspired, entertained, and even challenged by the thoughtful posts of my fellow bloggers. Recently, the wonderful Jennifer Balink at Jenny’s Lark set me off on a journey of recollection and recognition. Her lovely post recounted an experience where, as a teenager, she witnessed a friend’s mother react with grace to a situation where most of us would have a meltdown. It took years for Jenny to realize what it is that gives someone the ability to instantly respond to a setback with poise and perspective.
It isn’t virtue, or superhuman patience, or even piety. It’s practice. Tedious, mundane, sometimes even annoying, practice. As lackluster as that word may be, I believe it’s one of a dozen or so secrets to living one’s best life.
Practice is one of the most undervalued traits or actions that we humans have at our disposal. Given a choice, we’d much prefer innate genius, instantaneous transformation, or magic to make us better at some pursuit—or simply to become better humans—when the answer is practice. Just keep doing it. Just keep showing up.
“Don’t you have something a bit more wondrous . . . something, I dunno, maybe kinda sexy? Like enchantment, or sleight-of-hand, or maybe something I could buy with cryptocurrency?”
Nope, sorry. It’s practice. Just show up. Do the work. Rinse. Repeat.
I was invited to speak about kindness to a virtual conference last week. One of the participants asked me why something as desirable as kindness was often so hard. She described a situation where she had spoken rudely to someone and later regretted it, but had simply felt out-of-control in the moment and watched her good intentions fly out the window. This is something I hear a lot, and if my unscientific observations are true, we most often tend to lose our cool behind the wheel of our cars and in crowded spaces, and sometimes with our families. I think the woman was hoping for a wise and inspiring answer, but my reply to her was simple: “It takes practice.” Lots of practice.
Oh, sure, there’s also intention, and awareness, and patience, but without practice, those other traits can’t move the needle very far.
Whether we want to become better writers, cello players, wind-surfers, or simply better humans, it requires practice. Find a way to make your practice fun, and keep it fresh. Make it the highlight of your day. Carry it with you and think about it even when you aren’t able to engage in it. I love how Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield views it: “The goal of practice is always to keep our beginner’s mind.”
What is it you want most to do well, to shine at? How you gonna get there? It isn’t rocket science (unless, of course, rocket science is your field, then more power to you). It’s practice.
Go forth and practice.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” (Dalai Lama)
A Year of Living Kindly 
Your discussion of practice is intriguing, Donna, thought-provoking. I like it a lot. And it makes perfect sense, for we come into this world without any practice, and life gives us the chance to hone our gifts and skills.
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Thanks, Jet, so often we view practice as drudgery—I’m guilty of that myself—but it’s what gives us the gift of competence, as well as the right to feel gratified by our efforts.
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Your post reminds me of that joke: “God, grant me patience… and I want it NOW!” Thank you for the reminder that most worthy accomplishments require practice. Even that moment, that breath we take before reacting, takes practice.
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Mastering that pause before reacting may be the best skill we ever develop, Janis. And, yes, it takes practice, so much practice! Thanks!
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What you say is absolutely true. We learn via practicing. By the way, any essay that quotes Sam Snead is alright with me.
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Glad you liked the Sam Snead quote, Neil. There’s so much truth in it. He was such a visible figure in my youth, but I haven’t heard his name in many, many years.
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As always, I’m grateful for your posts, Donna. Seeing them in my e-mail is like discovering a jewel! Thanks so much!
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Hi, Roxanne, how good to see you! I hope you’ve been staying healthy and centered amidst so much chaos. Thanks for your very kind words. Stay well.
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Hi Donna! Thank you for this, and for showing me to Jennifer’s blog. 🙂 I’m getting ready to resume my own blog soon, and both of these pieces inspire me to overcome that activation energy barrier! Best wishes to you, my friend, so nice to see you here today! 😀
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Hi, Cathy, I’ll look forward to you resuming your blog. You always give me so much to think about. And I know you’ll enjoy following Jenny’s. What a lovely community of bloggers we have!
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Thank you, Donna!
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And thanks to you, Jennifer, for inspiring me (once again).
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Couldn’t agree more! Most things that are worth doing can be a bit hard…so they require effort and practice. But the results are more than worth it!
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So true, Ann. Sadly, many people forego the effort and the practice, and never learn how much they might have achieved.
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So true, Donna! We learn to perfect things we aren’t good at by practicing. It’s the same with kindness. Just keep being kind until it becomes second nature to you.
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Yes, exactly, Therese. And I think we also often under-appreciate things that come easily to us, so practice reminds us of the effort we expended to improve our skill, so we value it more highly.
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You’re right about our need to remember to *practice* more often. It reminds me of a MD who told me the key to good health was to be consistent with the good habits, inconsistent with the bad ones.
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That’s good advice from the doctor, Ally–for our health and for simply being a decent human. Thanks!
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I always appreciate what you write, Donna, and think about it. Not only because you are both witty and wise, but because you never preach.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Rachel! You’ve made my day … as your words often do.
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