Floaters

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Taking a break from talking about kindness to share a short, humorous essay I wrote that was just published in Bright Flash Literary Review. Bright Flash publishes a wide range of flash fiction and nonfiction and I was thrilled to have this quirky bit of flash accepted. This was a lot of fun to write and I hope it’s as much fun to read.

Floaters ImageFloaters

by Donna Cameron

“Do those floaters bother you much?” my ophthalmologist asks, during my routine visit.

Floaters?

Dr. Peck’s annual interrogation, “Which looks clearer, this one . . . or this one?” always conjures the test anxiety I experienced in college. But this is new. I search my mind for some context that will allow me to respond intelligently.

“Huh?”

“Floaters,” he repeats. “Those spots and squiggles drifting through your field of vision. As we age, they become more prevalent and more noticeable.” He is more aware of what’s going on in my head than I am. And he’s placing me in his own age bracket. I’ve always considered my eye doctor ancient, but perhaps we are contemporaries. I am both indignant and anxious.

“I’ve never really noticed them,” I admit, aware that henceforth I will be seeing armies of phantom beasties in full attack mode. (more…)

Read the rest here: https://brightflash1000.com/2023/08/03/floaters/

23 thoughts on “Floaters”

  1. Oh I get this. You think you know how to talk with a doctor about you, then they throw a question at you that makes you feel like you’re ancient. And you have no answer because you aren’t your Great Aunt Grace… yet you are.

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  2. It’s always a treat when I see your name on my computer, Donna! Gotta say: I’ve never heard of floaters – so thanks for the heads up (I think).

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    • I’d never heard of them before, either, Roxanne, and I wonder if I would have noticed them if Dr. P hadn’t pointed them out. They’re still with me. I’ve been wanting a pet….

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    • Nope, they’re nothing to worry about, Mick. Just a natural part of the aging process. That you’ve always had them indicates that you’re a (wise) old soul. They still surprise me occasionally, but I’m getting used to them. I think mine are literary in nature, as I see them most often when I am reading. Perhaps Charlotte’s Web would appease them?

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      • I’ve always understood them to just be cells in the eye that die and flake off, to be replaced. A process that goes on throughout our lives. Certainly nothing to be worried about, no.

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  5. Oh, so that’s what they are! I just started noticing them when reading as well. My doctor told me I had a small cataract starting in my left eye so I thought it was related to that. Now I will just refer to them as my baby Charlotte. My grands will think that’s funny.

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  6. I was a teen when first discovered those shifty dark shapes in my eyes. While sunbathing (slathered with baby oil, of course), I’d track them squiggling and drifting back and forth beneath my closed eyelids. They fascinated me. Several years earlier, an optometrist had informed me that I had astigmatism, though he hadn’t bothered explaining exactly what that was. So, I put two and two together and decided that these floating shapes were astigmatism. (Bam! Science!) And I stuck with that conclusion for another 20+ years.
    Living with an aging body, y’know, “it’s always something,” as Roseanne Rosanna Danna would say. How can anyone endure this life without a sense of humor? Thanks for the fun riff, Donna!

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    • Thanks, Kris! It does seem this aging process is presenting us with surprises on a regular basis. I’m trying to greet them with curiosity and welcome, but sometimes it’s “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”

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    • How very kind, Therese. Thank you. Actually, my focus lately has been on writing essays, and I’ve had a bit of success getting them published in literary journals. Occasionally, I’ll share a link, but I don’t want to toot my own horn too much. I haven’t tried my hand at fiction yet, but would love to take on that challenge, approaching it with beginner’s mind…. Hope you’re having fun in all your travels!

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  9. Loved this! And your hubby is right, it’s all part of the aging process, unfortunately. I’ve had them for years, annoying little buggers. Your doctor however sounds like some quack out of a horror movie! My floaters can stick around, they’re not getting evicted, as annoying as they sometimes are I’m kinda used to them. Fun read.

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