Category Archives: Civility

A Kinder Year….

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“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been, full of work that has never been done.…” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

A Year from Now 1I like to think that the new year offers us a reset button. Heaven knows we need one—after being caught for years in an endless maze of election deniers, science deniers, common sense deniers, and, yes, even bird deniers.

Kindness took some hits, as we saw personal attacks on and by political candidates reach new highs, er, lows. And we saw people elected to respected national offices raise their middle fingers to opponents both literally and figuratively in peerless demonstrations of class and refinement. And we saw a former president consign his deceased first wife to eternal rest near the first tee of a third-rate golf course in New Jersey. Continue reading →

My Bully Pulpit

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“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” (James Baldwin)

DSCN3317I don’t have kids. Every time I am moved to write about kids, I feel obliged to footnote that fact. I’ve never been in the trenches of raising them, of watching them take first steps and then fall on their butts, of witnessing them learn and grow and miraculously develop into autonomous little humans. I haven’t vicariously shared their wins, their losses, or their wounds—and felt these so deeply that I feared my heart would break.

Nonetheless, my heart does break when I read about the gauntlet of bullying so many children face on their journey to adulthood. I’ve written about bullying a lot, in this blog, and in my book.

For some kids, the pandemic offered a respite from bullying. Remote schooling provided a break from name-calling, playground taunts, and the accompanying shame and insecurity. However, remote schooling came with a cost—many costs. We’re learning that many kids are now lagging a year or more behind in academic skills. They’re reading at lower levels, and testing poorly in nearly every subject.

And it’s not just academics that have fallen behind. Studies are now showing that kids have lost a year or more in their social development. One way this is manifesting now that schools have resumed in-person learning is that bullying is back and often worse than ever. Continue reading →

This Has To Stop

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“Look into your own heart, discover what it is that gives you pain and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.” (Karen Armstrong)

Welcome, Messrs. DeSantis, Abbott, and Carlson,Why do we tolerate bullies and bullying? The moment we see one person abusing or belittling another we should be stepping in. Are we just so accustomed to the bullying behaviors of a former president and his cult following that we shrug our shoulders and say, “what are you gonna do?”?

What kind of example are we setting for young people?

This week, the world saw astonishingly cruel public bullying toward a group of migrants by Florida governor and presidential wannabe Ron DeSantis. The Venezuelan families were in Texas, in the process of going through proper channels to seek asylum in America. In a cheap and sadistic play for attention, DeSantis used Florida taxpayer money to pick up migrant families in San Antonio and fly them in two chartered jets to Martha’s Vineyard. There, he essentially dumped them for the local residents and municipality to deal with. He sent a videographer along to record the Northern outrage that he was sure would ensue. DeSantis claimed he was “protecting” Florida by flying the migrant families to Massachusetts. He did not elaborate on how kidnapping people in Texas protects Florida.

Is kidnapping too strong a word? How about human trafficking? Certainly coercion. Continue reading →

New Anthology Benefits World Central Kitchen

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. (Margaret Mead)

I’m honored to have had an essay (“What We Do with Words”) accepted for publication in this lovely new anthology, published last week by She Writes Press.

Art in the Time of Unbearable Crisis was conceived as a response by women writers and artists to the cataclysmic events of the last few years. Writing about the pandemic, Ukraine invasion, political and societal unrest, and more, authors address the vast range of human response to crisis in all its forms. They explore how we can find beauty, hope, and deeper interpretation—even when the world seems to have been turned upside-down, inside-out, and shaken.

The book is also intended to make a tangible difference. All royalties from book sales will go to support the tremendous work of chef José Andrés, his nonprofit World Central Kitchen, and their Ukrainian relief efforts.

If you’re interested in learning more about the book, or purchasing a copy, here’s a link to it on Bookshop.org, the wonderful discount retailer that supports independent bookstores. Of course, the book is also available through other online booksellers, and can be ordered through your local indie store. (As of this writing, the price is lower on Bookshop than on Amazon.)

Seattle Area Friends

If you happen to live in the Seattle area, please join me and seven other Puget Sound-area contributors on Thursday, August 11, at 7:00 p.m., at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Continue reading →

A World of Wonders

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“One key to knowing joy is being easily pleased.” (Mark Nepo)

duct tape 1cThese days, I’m looking for amusement anywhere I can find it. Like many people, I’ve cut back considerably on my news consumption. Though still (excruciatingly) aware of what’s going on, I also recognize that too much immersion into current events is hazardous to my health.

While I understand that the folks who are responsible for the Jeopardy debacle did not also coordinate our withdrawal from Afghanistan, I am nonetheless struck by the comparisons and the colossal incompetence demonstrated by both events. Sadly, one has become a catastrophe of massive human suffering, while the other just reminds us what fools these mortals be.

Earlier this month, I read Ross Gay’s 2020 release, The Book of Delights. Though he is best known for his poetry, this is a book of what he terms “essayettes”—very short (½-page to 2-page) celebrations of things that delight him—from the large and lovely to the minuscule and absurd. Mr. Gay set a goal of finding at least one delight every day for a year and recording them. The book contains about 100 of these morsels that manage in exquisite prose to shine a light on the world around us while also revealing our shared humanity. I must admit, it was delightful. Continue reading →