Removing Roadblocks

“When your mind changes, the world changes. When we respond differently to the world, the world responds differently to us.” ~Mojo Sam


I’m trying to find a way to work an audacious understatement into today’s post, but really, there’s no connection. So, instead, I’ll briefly detour and congratulate the folks at Elon Musk’s SpaceX for quick thinking. When their next-generation Starship rocket blew up shortly after take-off on April 20, they were swift to admonish unimaginative journalists for calling it an explosion. No, the SpaceX geniuses corrected, it was a “rapid, unscheduled disassembly.” If there is a Cooperstown for euphemism, this one will get in on the first vote.


Now, back to kindness….

DSCN3280Previous posts explored two big barriers to kindness, time and fear. Let’s look at a few other obstacles that get in the way:

Being oblivious. We miss a lot of opportunities to extend a kindness or even receive one by not being present. By being glued to the petite screen of a smart phone or tablet. Or by being so wrapped up in our own internal drama that we simply don’t notice other people—the person behind us whom we fail to hold the door for, the driver trying to merge onto the highway, the co-worker frazzled by a deadline we could help them meet…. Be that person who pays attention, who puts down the phone and offers a hand or a word of encouragement. Continue reading

What Keeps Us from Being Kind?

“What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded … sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.” (George Saunders)

I’ve had a lot of opportunities over the last year to talk with groups about kindness. One of the questions I’m often asked is, “Why is it so hard? . . . . Why is something obviously desirable and seemingly easy sometimes so difficult to actually do?”

I generally respond by describing the typical barriers to our kindness, the first of which is fear. And fear comes in many flavors: Fear of having our kindness rejected or misunderstood, fear of doing it wrong, fear of drawing attention to ourselves and causing embarrassment. Beyond fear, we may not know the right thing to do, or we claim not to have time, or we’re often simply oblivious.

Our brains can find any number of reasons for not doing something that may cross our minds as an impulse or notion. Continue reading