Tag Archives: Gratitude

How Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

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“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” ~Dalai Lama

Year of Living Kindly cover for FrankfurtPlease indulge me while I gape at the mind-boggling fact that my book turns five today. Born out of this blog, it continues to find new readers and, I hope, inspire kindness.

Many of you have been part of this community since the YOLK blog started in 2015. Your interaction and encouragement spurred me to attempt to turn my ideas into a book. I am so grateful.

No one is more surprised than I by its success. Like the little engine that could, it continues to chug along. It is now in its 9th printing, with three foreign language editions out (take a gander at the covers below!) and two more currently in production. It’s been honored with more than a dozen literary awards.

Most important, it’s touching lives. I often hear from readers who tell me YOLK inspired them to extend a kindness or withhold a snarky comment, or that they more readily recognize the kindnesses all around them. I can think of nothing more satisfying.

I wish I could claim that nine years of studying, writing, and speaking about kindness have made me a paragon of compassion, patience, and understanding. But no, I’m still learning. There are still times when I’m bitchy, cranky, and oblivious, but those occurrences are less frequent. I think I am kinder, and I am so much more aware of kindness all around me. I’ve seen also that there is a direct connection between kindness and happiness. Continue reading →

The Power of Presence

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butterfly from somewhere else“It’s all a matter of paying attention, being awake in the present moment, and not expecting a huge payoff. The magic in this world seem to work in whispers and small kindnesses.” ~Charles de Lint

In our review of the skills we carry in our kindness toolbox, let’s look at a couple more.

Paying Attention

An essential skill of kindness is paying attention, being present to what’s happening around us. Not being so absorbed in our devices or our own internal drama that we don’t notice the car trying to merge, the person whose hands are full whom we could hold the door for, or a child in distress seeking our attention.

Beyond noticing our opportunities to extend kindness, it’s also being present to receive the kindnesses others offer us. At the library recently, I saw a man wait to hold a door for a woman who was a few steps behind him. She didn’t even look up from her phone, just walked through the open door into the library without a word. I’m sure he held the door because he wanted to be courteous and considerate; he didn’t do it to be thanked. And let’s give her the benefit of the doubt: she probably wasn’t being deliberately rude; it’s likely she didn’t even notice him, so occupied was she by her device. But what an opportunity missed. At least three people could have felt the endorphins created by kindness: he, the giver; she, the receiver; and I, a witness. Each of us would have had a burst of pleasure over something so small as the courtesy of a held door.

I’m not going to get on a soapbox about all the things people miss because they’re addicted to their phones. It’s a choice. When people realize how much actual life they’re missing, they’ll modify their habits.

It’s not just our devices that deter us from noticing kindness opportunities. We can be just as absorbed in the dramas we manufacture internally: Continue reading →

Querencia and Friluftsliv: Two Concepts to Guide Us Through a Pandemic

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“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” (Jean Shinoda Bolen)

It’s been two months since the World Health Organization officially declared the coronavirus to be a worldwide pandemic. By now, disbelief has given way to acceptance and adaptation for most of us. Depending on where you live you may be living under a quarantine or you may be cautiously venturing back into a limited social environment.

Most of us have accepted that our world has changed and the post-pandemic atmosphere is likely to be very different. Just what those differences will be remain a mystery, but it’s a sure bet that some will be devastating and some will be hopeful. That uncertainty is creating a lot of apprehension. I’m finding two concepts that go a long way toward easing COVID-19 anxiety.

I first wrote about querencia back in early 2017. It’s a concept that has become abundantly relevant in these days of fear, isolation, and uncertainty. Continue reading →

The Gratitude Remedy

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“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” (Meister Eckhart)

It’s all too easy to overlook gratitude as we rush from one meeting or holiday party to the next, one obligation to another, or when we find ourselves mired in dispiriting stories of social inequity and political corruption. Gratitude is a quiet emotion and ours is a very loud world.

But gratitude is the perfect prescription for when we are feeling the stresses of daily life and overwhelmed by the magnitude of ills befalling our planet. That’s the time to take a healthy dose of gratitude.

Think about the side-effects of gratitude:

It opens us to abundance. When we see how much there is to be thankful for, we also see how much we have. Instead of feeling that we need to acquire more material possessions, or that we need to be more than we are, we see that we have enough and we are enough. Continue reading →

It’s World Kindness Day

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Let’s overwhelm the world with our kindness today. And get up tomorrow and do it again.

It’s World Kindness Day. As promised, here are more of my favorite kindness quotes. You can also find a smorgasbord of them on my Resource Page.

Extend some kindnesses today and notice all the kindnesses extended your way.

“Kindness. Easy to do. Easy not to do. Choose the latter, no one will notice. Choose the former and lives may change.” ~Julian Bowers Brown

“When we do what we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing.” ~Wayne Muller

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” ~Seneca Continue reading →